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Monday, November 12, 2018

A Visit...


These following words came as I sat at my adoration time...
"Church!"
"Do not run away!
You are the living Body of Christ
Stay your ground
Fight against the evil brought to Light!
You are the hands, the feet, the heart and the mind of Christ.
Jesus is the Head of the Body-
Do not abandon Him."
                                   


OUR TIME OF VISITATION
                by Peter Herbeck
(published in the RENEWAL  MINISTRIES, Oct. newsletter)

One morning during Mass, right after Communion,
I sensed the Lord telling me to write down in my journal
the following:
"The days ahead will be marked by growing chaos and confusion.
I am coming to purify my Church. I am about to bring down the idols
that hold my people in bondage;
I will expose the hypocrisy of the mighty and the strong,
both in the Church and in the world."

Peter continues...
"It is important for us to understand Jesus' intent. He
doesn't come to humiliate or to destroy; He comes to save.
St. Peter tells us that judgement begins with the house of
God. Jesus is purifying His Church for the sake of the
salvation of the world. The Church is the hope of the world,
the sacrament of salvation, the light of the world.
When the Church is trapped in sin, her light goes dim and her salt goes flat.

We have nothing to fear if we put our hope in Him.
It's not our job to secure all the potential consequences
that may transpire from a radical response to Jesus at this time.
Our job is to obey and to entrust everything to His
mercy and love, and to the protection and intercession of Our Lady.

Jesus said,"I am the light of the world, he who follows me
will not walk in darkness but will have the light of life" (John 8:12)

Even in the greatest darkness, we can walk in the Light.


Wednesday, October 24, 2018

GATHER US IN...

THE THREE O'CLOCK HOUR

 Matt 10:27
"What I say to you in the darkness speak in the light, says the lord;
What you hear whispered, proclaim on the housetops!"


The alarm clock had been set for 7 a.m.
Feeling tired at bedtime,I sought an extra hours sleep.
However, I was awakened much earlier this morning.
As I laid there, a prayer was offered for anyone needing a prayer.
Our Franciscan monks had taught us that one Hail Mary could save a life at any moment,
and prayer is especially needed during the night hours when a person may be in distress.

Looking at the clock, the time was around 3:30 a.m.
I heard a whispered voice speak these words...
"I  GATHER  IN..ALL"

My prayer has been for the well being and welcoming of those who are refugees.
Those families who have left their countries seeking asylum and safety in another area. 

1 Peter 4:8-11
...put your gifts at the service of one another,
each in the measure he/ she has received.
The one who speaks is to deliver the message...
the one who serves is to do it with the strength
provided by God.
Thus, in all of you, God is to be glorified 
through Jesus Christ
  

Often , we sing a song  within the celebration of the Mass called 

"GATHER US IN "

Here in this place a new light is streaming,
now is the darkness vanished away,
See in this space our fears and our dreamings, 
brought here to you in the light of this day.
Gather us in- the lost and forsaken,
Gather us in- the blind and the lame;
Call to us now and we shall awaken,
we shall arise at the sound of our name.

We are the young  -our lives are a mystery,
we are the old -who yearn for your face,
We have been sung throughout  all of history
called to be light to the whole human race.
Gather us in- the rich and the haughty,
Gather us in -the proud and the strong;
Give us a heart so meek and so lowly.
Give us the courage to enter the song.

              Marty Haugen






Wednesday, October 10, 2018

God "rights" in crooked lines...

GOD "RIGHTS " IN CROOKED LINES

It sounds so strange to say, that
"when I am  looking for something, I find what I need
 instead of what I was looking for!"

Of course , for myself, and maybe for you also,this change of Season 
brings us to many of the chores and changes we need to put into place
 for the coming months of winter. 
Along with getting the car winter-ready, changing the summer clothes over
 for the cooler weather ones, stocking up on a few supplies that may be too
heavy to handle in the wintertime, trying to get all the doctor, dentist ,etc.
appointments done, and, hopefully over, there were other  
things needing my attention.
These Seasonal changes also affect my body, mind, emotional and spiritual well being,
as I understand, happens to many others.
Life can suddenly seem too overwhelming!
Now this has been happening for a great many years and I do become 
aware of the symptoms more quickly as time goes on, thank You God!
I am able to reach out with more trust and confidence, knowing that this too, shall pass.

Recently, after receiving the Sacrament of Reconciliation, I also was given the Grace
of knowing what was the root cause of this suffering!
I am claiming this healing of my "inner-child "now, with this witness!

As I sit here, my glance now falls upon the pamphlet beside me...
"Infant of Prague Novena."
"JESUS,you decided to become a child,
and I'm coming to you full of trust.
I believe that your attentive love
forestalls all my needs."



































Wednesday, September 5, 2018

A RESPONSE TO "The men's letter to the Pope"

RISE UP O' MEN OF GOD

The following article is taken from a blog entry written in December 12, 2016.
To understand the following , please read the original text...
"Gift of knowledge"
12-12-2016

RISE UP O' MEN OF GOD

Rise up O' men of God
His Kingdom tarries long...
Have done with lesser things
Give heart and soul and mind and strength
to serve the King of Kings!

Rise up O' men of God
His Kingdom tarries long;
Bring in the day of Brotherhood
and end the night of wrong!

Rise up O' men of God
The Church for you does wait!
Sent forth to serve the needs of men
In Christ our strength is great!
Lift high the Cross of Christ!
Tread where His feet have trod
As brothers of the Son of Man,
Rise up O' men of God!

Wm. Pierson Merrill
Author  1911

Friday, August 17, 2018

PRAYER-----RESTING IN GOD....

PRAYER--- RESTING IN GOD

August 15, 2018
Feast of the Assumption of Mary into Heaven

Prayer...resting in God...simply being...so relaxed in Presence-
"You are here!"
and I, whisper delicately, a prayer conversation;
It comes easily,
I am with the Spirit's movement...
No haste,
calm,
at ease;
a prayer conversation comes so normally!
All is well and in it's proper place-
no need for even a concern-
A feeling that my thoughts and words are His/Hers
and we are One.
there is Unity...no separation between us.
 I am not on any "schedule",
the time stands still and we are One
"Be still and Know...I Am God"
My Heart is your heart,
My time is your time-we become One
as it was "In the beginning"
Receiving the Gift of Union

How, Father, can I continue to remain in You, 
as You remain in me this way?
Thank You for these Gifted Moments of your Presence.
Is this a Gift from Mary on this Feast day?
Oh! "Holy Spirit! Stay with me! Please stay"
"Do not leave me- I beg you! Linger here."

God, what is your desire for me?

"To have you as My own!"

I too, desire to come back to you with all my heart!
I remember the early days of so much love ,desire and peace that
you poured into my heart and soul-
that I groaned within with so much of your Love!
Please help me and draw me again into Your deep Loving Heart.

I need to re-think how I could avoid busy-ness and the anxiety that it provokes.
I need to slow down and bring more of my wants and needs to You.
Are you asking me to lift a hidden issue to you in the light of prayer?
"Do not let me scurry and run away-  
 or read too fast as if greedy and a glutton for knowledge.
My thoughts do not always follow through with the actions
 needed.
I need you, Jesus...
Stay with me, Lord!"







F E A R has two meanings

F  E  A  R


F  E  A  R has two meanings...

Forget   Erase  And   Run!

Face  Engage   And   Rise!

Thursday, August 16, 2018

"LISTEN TO ME,... LISTEN!"

WHERE IS THE LOGIC?

LOGIC the science or art of reasoning.

These  next words came and were heard  so clearly...as if a parent sternly speaking to a child

"LISTEN TO ME!"
"LISTEN!"

"Let My Words hang in the air-
You will hear in the Silence, what is said on the roof-tops!
What was hidden, will be revealed.
It will all be revealed. Nothing can be hidden from My eyes!
Nothing!
What is done in the dark, will be seen in the Light".
"My Word will never pass away!"
The Mother is "the Church."
The Church has been defiled from within
My Church, my mother torn apart, tattered...
battered from within- stained, profaned from within-
where, how- who will clean the wounds?

I seek your acts of penance for the reconciliation of 
the Body of Christ, who suffers like a mother at a lost child !
Rachael- once again cries for Her children...
The Body of Christ is broken!

,


Saturday, August 11, 2018

WE WILL MEET AGAIN, MY BROTHER,....Richards' Quest

RICHARD'S QUEST


Richard, my brother, left us...only to meet us, once again,
in another realm, at another time!
Here, we seem to call that "leaving,"  a death...but there is no death!
It's only a dying.
For God is a God of the living!
And the living exist in His Eternal Presence.

I do grieve, for we only had met less than a year ago.
It was too short a time for me!
Yet, there is a Divine Plan that I do not know or understand about this story,
except to say that we will be together again in that  Eternal
realm. So I am blessed for the "miracle" that brought us together for 
one year and three visits.
His "quest," was to know his father's name...and it was met here.
He also had a picture of his father, met his sister and found his own family!
My "quest" was to meet my brother and to  be at peace knowing
 that he was in the right place with God. 


June 19, 2018 Richard, my brother, died from cancer within his bones and lungs ,
received from the chemical "Agent Orange", that was used by the U.S. Government while he was 
in Vietnam as a soldier in the Marine Corps.
 Since my childhood days, I was told that I had a brother ten years younger than myself.
 I was shown a picture of a little boy about 3 or 4 years old.
I cannot go into all the details, only to say that my own father had left our family and our home.
He had fathered a son and I was shown the picture.
 Nothing was ever mentioned again, as secrets were kept 
within the "family walls".

Time has a way of healing those secrets!
Throughout my life of schooling, nurses training, marriage and childbearing,
I would have a lingering memory occasionally..."I have a brother somewhere,
...I wonder if he is all right, if he needs help, if he's healthy"?
As years went by, the thought became an audible notification.
When my husbands last days were coming closer, the thoughts and longings
persisted more often.

I had been praying for the generational healing of our family tree and all it's members,praying
 along with a book written by Fr. Hempsh, 'Healing the Family Tree".

 My daughters heard my need and brought it to light, saying "Mom, we've
heard you, how can we help?"
For two years we searched the "paper trail" and ended up closer to nowhere.
We watched the T.V. shows of families being re-united and decided 
that was not the way for us to go.
So we followed the trail to Ancestry.com and sent for the DNA testing kit and waited.
It was only a few months  when I received a notice of an 98% chance of a cousin relative.
I knew it was my brother!
His name was Richard Gabaree. An unfamiliar name.

Too emotionally touched, I asked my daughter to answer the request.
The E-mails went back and forth,... he wasn't sure that he wanted to proceed.
He had given up 20 years ago looking for his father's name,
but every so often would look in on his ancestry page.
Here we were in August  and his last connection was in May.
He said that his birth mother had written him before she died in 1995
and had written his father's name, but he wasn't caring then, and put it aside.
 He thought he might still have the letter.
If the name on the letter matched the name  we would send, then
we could plan to meet together.
Meanwhile, he sent a picture! There was a strong family resemblance!
I knew he was my brother.

We met here at my home.
The tension of my emotions were so strong!
So many questions flowing through my mind!
 So much was unknown...would he welcome us as family?
Would he be angry or accepting of us?


Richard brought his daughter Kendra along. She was his constant caregiver.
We were comfortable right away after the initial greeting.
Somehow, they felt like family right away, and he love was genuine.
Richard told us stories of his adoption into a large family, the war, his wounds  in the battles,
the resulting cancer in his bones and lungs, the insults he endured on coming home to the U. S.,
 he showed pictures of the families he had raised...
he never once showed any anger of his past difficulties of life.
He recounted that in the Vietnam  war he had saved the life of a brother Marine.
He shared his difficulty and feelings with us when he was told that he was adopted.
He was so open and honest with us and shared how he felt seeing his father's pictures,
looking for a similarity  of features to himself.
The time together seemed to go by so fast; we all agreed to meet another time
and to stay in touch with each other.
We had two more visits and it seemed obvious that his health
was deteriorating quickly.
The doctors would give him 3 months before the lining of his lungs would
 not expand enough to take in the oxygen needed for him to survive.
We had a short time of conversing via e mail;
then, silence for a month.
No one was answering the emails or phone calls to Richard.
We didn't have a way of contacting the family.
I knew what the family was attending to at that time.

The Funeral Mass was celebrated at Our Lady of Grace Catholic church
with a Military escort to the cemetery for burial.

 Three weeks later we came together with Kendra again, and met Richard's wife, Sandra.
We shared many tender moments together that day... we laughed and we cried, as Sandra told us stories
and shared her memories .
We also shared our faith stories about God's infinite goodness in our lives...
and those times of little miracles that happened.
We all became closer, more loving and thankful for our family togetherness!


































Thursday, July 26, 2018

WHY BEGIN YOUR DAY with broken pieces ? Grace is better !

DON'T START YOUR DAY
WITH YESTERDAYS BROKEN PIECES

"Don't start your day with broken pieces of yesterday!
Every day is a fresh start.
Each day a new beginning.
Every day we wake up
is the first day of our new life."

This truth came across from Facebook and spoke clearly about
leaving my baggage of the day behind  me at day's end, so as
not to carry anything forward.

A few years now, on and off, I have been praying the 5 steps of the St. Ignatius
of Loyola, "Spiritual Daily Examen."..G...R...A...C...E.
 Taking only 10-15 minutes at the most, it is usually done at the end of each day.
There are 5 steps...
Asking the Holy Spirit to teach me to pray, I begin...

COME, HOLY SPIRIT
O Holy Spirit,soul of my soul, I adore you.
Enlighten, guide, strengthen and console me.
Tell me what to do and command me to do it. 
I promise to be faithful to all you permit to happen to me.
Show me only what is your will. 
Amen

 Holy Spirit guide me into the Quiet Space of God.

Choose a Sacred word to keep your focus...
returning to the sacred word, gently, when thoughts enter in.
 This place of peace will increase
as you keep this daily time with Jesus

G   R   A   C   E
The daily Examin,
A Conversation with God.

GRATITUDE:  for the the day's gifts and blessings...recall in thanksgiving the blessings of the day,
you're God moments, praising GOD.

                       REQUEST:   ask for  God's gift of  Understanding upon the day's actions as He would
have you see it.    Make this a "prayer- conversation" with God the Father...

ACKNOWLEDGE :   your actions throughout the day; 
telling JESUS details of some things that occurred,
how you felt,what you were thinking...what you may or could have done differently;
have a conversation with Him.
CHART:  a course of daily change for the better; or stay the course you are on.
Here, make an act of contrition and a resolution for change, if needed.
ENTREAT:  God for energy and enthusiasm for tomorrow and
ask for the  help of His Grace to carry out any changes.

GRACE: will be given as we continue each day, to be able to see any
patterns that may need to be corrected.
The daily examen will eventually lead to living a life of Transformation  with Jesus Christ.
This is a good guide toward preparation for the monthly Sacrament of Reconciliation,also.
It is up to God to give the Grace of enlightenment and a true resolve to change.
We cannot  do this alone.
We need Jesus' help.


A good guide pamphlet that helps me enter into this place of prayer
can be found on the St. Joseph's welcome table in our Church entry.
Cardinal Mercier's
SECRET TO SANCTITY
AND HAPPINESS

St. Ignatius Examination with Fr. Timothy Gallagher OVM
can be found on YOUTUBE
www.discerninghearts.com


Friday, June 8, 2018

"TO SAVE WHAT WAS LOST"...A REFLECTION by FATHER BEDE JARRETT, O.P.


I am always amazed at God's timing and
 how He puts the answers to unasked questions into view.
Here is what was found (but not lost,) until the exact moment it was needed!
Another part of the picture presents itself for future teaching.

This following reflection seemed to speak to me of a great change that will come 
according to what the next Life Lesson may be.!

Fr. Jarrett(+ 1934) was a Dominican priest from England known
 for his preaching,lectures and his many books
 on theology and spirituality.

A REFLECTION:

TO SAVE WHAT WAS LOST
                 Father Bede Jarrett, O.P.

It is perfectly obvious that if I am so blessed by the gifts of the Spirit, that I find my reason, will, and emotions made increasedly perceptive of divine currents previously lost to me, I can hardly help acting in a new way.
I now discover the view about me, and, consequently, my manner of life must in some ways be different from before. 
The vision has come; it cannot simply open my eyes to new things in life without
thereby altering that very life itself. 
Not only shall I find that what seemed to me before to be evil now appears to me to be a blessing;
but on that very account, what before I tried to avoid, or, having got,tried to be rid of, I shall
now accept, perhaps even seek. Similarly, whereas then I was weak, now I am strong;
 and increase of strength means new activities,  new energy put into the old work and
 finding its way into works altogether new.
My emotions, finally, which imperiled and dominated my life, slip now into a subordinate position and, 
while thereby as actively employed as before, are held under discipline.
It is clear, therefore, that the gifts will not leave me where I was before,
but will influence my actions as well as alter my vision. I find, then,
 that these new habits will develop into new activities. But this means also that I have
 a new idea as to the means of achieving the full happiness of life. 
Once upon a time I thought happiness meant comfort; now I see that it means something quite different.
 My view of happiness has changed. I am therefore obliged to change also my idea 
as to the means and conditions whereby, and in which, happiness can be found.

Thursday, June 7, 2018

WHAT A DIFFERENCE A DAY MAKES ! ! !

THE JOURNEY

Many years ago, never would I have imagined that I would be sitting at a computer...
or writing about the stretch of road that led me here.
The cover of  my little book, inspired and actually written and gifted
by God, in the Person of the Holy Spirit, is titled "The Journey".
This Gift given, was both poetic and prophetic.

In the midst of a very busy family life, after a time of listening prayer,
words began to flood through my mind without stopping...as if a dam had burst!
They were not my thoughts and came so fast that I thought,
" maybe I should write this down!"
As an unexpected  Summer rain shower in the late afternoon, they came. And so it was!
After a few years, there were pools of paper pieces collecting in various
 areas of the desk and sitting room.

My friend and helper, Ben Gordon, offered me many of his Saturdays engineering
page by page,  helping to create the book by his skills on the computer.
The written pages are only bits and pieces,rising from the deep recesses,
opening  them into the Light of day.
The real story began to emerge with the idea of putting these thoughts all together
as a legacy for my family.As it was taking form, it named as
the Woman At The Well.
 I had met Jesus years before, and seen Him active in the persons of an Al-Anon group.
Jesus then, became active and alive to me through the power of the Holy Spirit.



WHAT A DIFFERENCE A DAY MAKES
 
I am trying to live according to what the moment gives...
accepting the invitation that the moment offers...
trusting that Jesus will carry me wherever He decides.
That means, making very few plans in order to let the Spirit lead, and
trying to say "Yes" to each moment as it shows itself  and
staying open.
That's not an easy task for me, as I want to be in control
and make my own decisions.

So, I saw that Fr. Donato was giving us an opportunity for a retreat day on a Saturday.
A one day retreat to soak up all that was being offered, sounded perfect to me!
The presentations were so inviting...and I was so ready to learn from such
knowledgeable priests!
"Better enroll quickly, the space will fill up in no time!"...thought I!
 So I did!... and I looked forward to going on that day.

THEN....
my friend Anne called and INVITED me  to a gathering of
Women of Faith, spiritually guided by the Sisters of Saint Anne.
They were presenting "A walk with Mary" as a Saturday retreat!
Yes! That same Saturday as Fr's retreat day!

 "Well my resolve to, "live in the moment and go where I am invited"
hadn't lasted or taken root for very long, had it?"
Now I knew where
God was calling me!
An invitation,.. at the last moment,..   and not of my doing 
or my plan,...and 
I felt drawn to be there when it was offered to me!
I gave my "yes!"


THE MAGNIFICAT  TODAY

My soul glorifies the Lord !
My spirit rejoices in God my Saviour!
For God has blessed me lavishly and makes me ready to respond.
God shatters my little world and lets me be poor.
God takes from me all my plans and gives me more
than I can hope or ask.

God gives me opportunities;
the ability to become free;
to burst through my boundaries.
God gives me strength to be daring,
to build on God alone, for God
is the ever greater One in my life.
God has made known to me this: it is in my being servant that it becomes
possible for God's kingdom to break through here and now.

Translated from German by Olga Vamke, IBVM


YES!...BUT WHAT WAS HE CALLING ME TO...



Wednesday, June 6, 2018

REFLECTION QUESTIONS: what is GOD trying to announce to me, to you?


What Was GOD trying to ANNOUNCE to me?

NO WIND AT THE WINDOW
                       John Bell
No wind at the window, no knock at the door
No light from the lamp stand, no foot on the floor
No dream born of tiredness, no ghost raised by fear
Just an angel and a woman and a voice in her ear

Oh, Mary Oh, Mary don"t hide from my face
Be glad that you're favored and filled with God's grace
The time for redeeming the world has begun
And you are requested to mother God's son

The child must be born that the Kingdom might come
Salvation for many, destruction for some
Both end and beginning, both message and sign
Both victor and victim, both yours and divine

No payment was promised, no promises made
No wedding was dated, no blue print displayed
Yet Mary, consenting to what none could guess
Replied with conviction,"tell God I say yes."
__________________________________________________

What was being asked of me?
There was so much beauty in the words of the call...
so many thoughts and feelings surrounding them...
too much to understand ...
Then Sister said we could take a break! There was coffee and fruit and food
on the welcoming table...
but I was in need of "silence" and
listening into that silence
  for the still ,small Voice to make
sense and put the pieces of the
calling together.Within my spirit I heard the
invitation to "Go to the chapel"
YES! I was in the right place...
As I began to pray...
"O' my GOD, I am heartily sorry- for all my offenses,
thank You for Love and your Mercy-"

the Words were coming and heard... gently..
"All is well! And all is well and all will be well!"
"In all these things, get Understanding!"
"You are getting Understanding!"
Let ME love you!
Be still!-
Stop running-
There is nothing you need to do-or
can do!
Let Me Love you!"
______________
"Forget the others-
Just be loved-
absorb the love
don't push others away
let Me love you through them- their love for
 you comes through Me alone
or they, the other, would not
even approach you!
So be not afraid-
It is I,your Savior,
who has every moment
measured toward you!
Receive--Me
in that communion!"

______________________

"I leave this altar in peace
May I return in peace...
I leave an altar of suffering
for a journey of Transformation...
A stone remains;
in it's place
a heart of flesh and compassion
 moves onward"
                  Anonymous
_________________________________________


THE STORY IN LUKE'S GOSPEL

A message is given to the woman.
Something stirs deep within her being...a truth she has always known
but neither heard nor expressed...
Something happens which is utterly new but very familiar.
She comes to a place where she has always wanted to be.

What happens to this virgin of Nazareth in an announcement
     is not a singular event, a once-and-only.
It is an announcement for now and forever.
God is with us.
Women and men are called to"give birth,
called to be "Mothers of God"

                                           Meister   Eckhart


Monday, April 30, 2018

A MYSTERY...the question of the day...Updated



A DAILY MEDITATION

WHEN have I experienced the life of the RISEN CHRIST ?

What an Awesome God we have!!! 
If only I am patient enough... 
He does connect the pieces nd finishes the puzzle 
when it pleases Him and everything is in His order.
Let me try to explain...
During our Lenten Novena, which was a special time of daily prayer,
Mass and homilies to Saint Francis Xavier, there was,
 as I now see it, an experience of  the Risen Life in Christ! 
I had hoped to be able to put that experience into words to share with you, 
yet it didn't come into it's own  complete life until today, six weeks after the novena ended!

Our Father,God, Yahweh, is always at work...quietly moving behind the scenes.
Today, while tidying up the clutter on the desk, I decided to put aside one 
of the folders that contained some old poetry, notes and other papers...but... 
I couldn't resist taking one more look at what was therein.
Some thing caught my eye and I will share it here, because it seemed to be a
piece of the 'unfinished picture!"



So here is the article written on Aug. 12,2010 from the Center for Action and Contemplation;

THE MYSTERY OF SUFFERING
                                                                   When have I experienced the life of the Risen Christ?
Our usual definition of God depicts him as omnipotent, infinite, perfect in every way.
Yet if the suffering Jesus is the image and revelation of the invisible God ,(Col. 1:15),
this is totally at odds with all the other philosophical and theological definitions of a supreme
being.
Jesus doesn't fit.Even after two thousand years, it is hard to realize
 what a revolutionary symbol Jesus is. He basically turned theology upside down.
 He said,in effect: "Who you think God is, God isn't"
You can't know this merely by study or theology or religion, but only through painful encounters with the living God where you feel like you are dying, and yet you do not die. Then you experience another kind of life, another kind of freedom.
Christians call this new home "the shared life of the risen Christ".


Here is my  lived experience.

 I have experienced most of my freedom through suffering!
Letting the suffering arise and accepting suffering, is never an easy task.
I spent most of my years suppressing hurt, running busily away from facing the hurt, fear
 and anxiety that was hidden within...
 not even knowing what it was I was running from.
Like Lazarus, wrapped and decayed, dead for days,Jesus patiently kept calling me forward
from the tomb I had built around myself.
Through the years, guided by faith and a loving family, friends, and a loving prayerful
community, Jesus began and continued to unwrap the bindings.
I really don't need to go into many details,we all have our inner sufferings.
What we do for ourselves to heal them is the important story.
Much of my story is in the early writings of these pages.
The bottom line is," staying the course...persevering;" and that is a Grace, a gift given
as an answer to prayer. Much prayer, many years of  receiving the daily Eucharist,
and the quiet prayer of sitting in the Presence of God, allowing Him to sift out
the chaff from the wheat, so to speak.
It is all His work!

As the Novena to St. Francis Xavier continued through the nine days of mass, homilies
and prayer, the sacrament of Confession and Reconciliation was also offered on each day.
The Holy Spirit never rests!...(thank God),  and I was in need of forgiveness and took
advantage of the opportunity. One of our former priests was there and I felt comfortable
to see him.
Well! Great novena, wonderful homilies, the Eucharist AND confession !
Wow! what a terrific few days!
My friend and I went out to eat lunch .
We even had dessert!
All was well!!!

The Holy Spirit NEVER rests!
God is always desiring my healing, which will bring me closer to Him and bring
me more Freedom to love God and neighbor and self !

At home in the quiet spaces, again, something began to stir deep within me.
 In the deepest part of my being... pushed way down in the dark place, hidden under years of debris
arose the big "sunami" of a wave, rising to the surface!
I had come face to face, unexpectedly, with a dark side of self...like looking in a mirror.
Finally, giving it over to Our Lady and every saint I had ever prayed to, I
did SURRENDER and yield, longing to let it go!
It was the right time!

At that precious moment , when the priest said those words of  forgiveness,
"Jean! YOU ARE FORGIVEN  OF ALL YOUR SINS!"...those words echoed within,
reverberating into every fiber of my being!
JESUS was washing and cleansing every cell in my body!
I was being washed clean and given a new Life!
I had received a new Life!
A very alive sense of being!
"Transformed into a new dimension of living!"
I thought that I would die and
GOD gave me new LIFE IN JESUS!

ALLELUIA!
HE IS RISEN!







Monday, April 16, 2018

THE UNKNOWN...and... THE KNOWN...

THE UNKNOWN

Step by step You lead me...
Knowing not what lies ahead;
To see, is denied me;
Yet a plan You construct.

As puzzle pieces interlock
a gesture am I in the picture...
A link, a breeze, unseen, unnoticed
to bridge a gap!

Life within me is You!
You, Jesus, in my soul, are Guide.

Speak, Lord! Your servant listens...
To be transformed, I come...
Evolving endlessly into YOU.


VICTORY
Lord, share with us
the Fruits of
Your Victory!!!
Make us witnesses of
Your Risen Life...
"The Body of Christ"
Amen.


THE WELL
You   are    the   Well,
   JESUS..
You - the Water!
You are the Bread...JESUS
          You - the Wine;
You are the Altar...JESUS
              You, the Sacrifice!
You are Priest...JESUS
      You,   the  Word!
You open the Heavens...JESUS
               You lead us through,
    You,our Hope...JESUS
                     our  SAVIOR  true !
                 




Saturday, April 7, 2018

DIVINE MERCY SUNDAY: Come !

 DIVINE MERCY SUNDAY

Today your gate stands open,
And all who enter in
Shall find a Father's welcome
And pardon for their sin.
The past shall be forgotten,
A present Joy be given,
A future home be promised,
A glorious crown in Heav'n

O' all embracing MERCY,
O'ever open Door,
What would I do without you
Who lead the way before?
When joy seems all too distant,
And all too near, despair,
I know one Gate is open,
One ear will hear my prayer.
           anonymous


"You were once a slave
now you are freed
Free to worship in Spirit and Truth
COME!...once again receive My Spirit...
a deepening of Truth, Wisdom,
 Knowledge and Understanding-

Be not afraid!
You are Mine now
within the Trinity is your being-
My child, My body; My home!
We are One!"



LISTENING TO THE RADIO...Emmanuel 1230

A MOVIE CONVERSATION

As children in Grammar School, my brother and I would walk home from school at lunchtime
and then back to school for the afternoon. So there was time  for me to turn on the radio in the kitchen
and tune in for those 15 minutes. This was a treat to have these moments
 to listen to music or hear the Boston Braves when they had a ball game.

Today the radio is turned on to a local station for a  Catholic viewpoint on
just about everything, from a news perspective to advice for parents and help with relationships,
including a local interest in our Diocese  and a daily mass each morning at 8 a.m.
Jerry and Debbie were hosting TAKE 2 on Emmanuel radio at 970 AM or 1230 AM coming
from our diocese in Worcester,MA.

As I listened, there was an open line discussion on religious themed movies.
 Questions about the messages put forth and what effect the movies may
 have made on those who saw them.Were they well made and understood,
were they well attended, well produced, did they get a message across,or
even were they entertaining and enjoyable, or did they make any profit?...
 ...in particular, "PAUL THE APOSTLE".
 That grabbed my attention!

 I was trying to clear off the desk where the radio sits.So I sat down to listen.
There had been a question brewing in my mind after seeing that movie...
 about the last scene. Exactly what was the take-away message for me?
It was not quite formed in my mind.
Maybe this would help me see it clearly.

 What did others  see and think?
What was their impressions of the message?
How did the intense brutality of the Christians affect them?
Does anyone see a resemblance in today's treatment of the Christian
 communities in the Eastern Nations?
Could we, today,as Christians, be living parts of the Acts of the Apostles?
What is our responsibility as brothers and sisters in Christ?

Of course, each individual had their own way of absorbing the movie, it's
message and how the scenes affected them, personally. This was
clearly an interesting conversation on many levels.
As I listened, within, something was forming!

Time was passing quickly and the end of the program was near!
 Do I make a call? Am I prepared? "
Knowing that  for me "words and thoughts are formed easier when writing,
and these newly formed thoughts coming into my mind are coming
so quickly that ...ugh!!!...
Jerry and Debbie just finished their time on the air!!!

My answer was "SEND AN E-MAIL!"
"Yes! Our Pope Francis asked us to use every form of media
to get the message of Jesus Christ out there into the Universe!"
The following message is what was sent as the e-mail. Not even knowing
whether it would be received after the program ended,at least
there was more clarity in my mind...to a degree.
 Oh! before it was sent,the word "Martyr"was investigated .
The info on it is in the book of the Catholic Catechism.
MARTYR: A witness to the truth of the faith, in which the martyr
endures even death to be faithful to Christ.

TAKE2@EWTN.COM
To: Jerry and Debbie

Thank you for the conversations about movies!
I came back to the movie theaters only because there are religious-themed stories
and something to be learned or gleaned from what they have to offer.
My approach begins with prayer to the Holy Spirit,  asking what He may
teach me, in order to bring me closer to my faith in God.
What was my "take-away" from this movie? It had to do with"martyrdom"!
It took much  time and space pondering on my part AND listening to your program today!
The message of the movie was very subtle within the strong message and actions of the sufferings
and brutality put upon the Christian community! Only at the ending scene did
a glimmer of what was to become a teaching come to me .
The "instant" of Paul's beheading brought him into ETERNITY, where he beheld
all the faces of the souls he had persecuted...the souls that he saw and agonized over...
the souls that brought him so much pain and anguish in life... they were there with him in ETERNITY!
Were they "the martyrs" that gave their lives so Paul would be converted?
... they were welcoming, smiling happily to see him...
and he was forgiven ,by and in the Blood of Christ !!!

We don't always get the happy ending the way we think it may be...could
the answer be something we needed to understand...something that would "enlighten" us
to a new reality?!
Jerry was so right in saying not "to over estimate or spiritualize the devil"s work...
our own humanity, the flesh, is what may need a transformation...and we,
our ego self, cannot stand to take a look at our selves!
JESUS has a way of healing our blindness,and we need to ask to be open to
the healing and pray to accept however He chooses to apply the healing.
Prayer is an essential element in growth!
Blessings to you and your ministry ,
Jean in Charlton, MA
Listening from: radio Emmanuel (ewtn),1230 and 970 am
 in Worcester, MA





Thursday, March 22, 2018

PRAYER OPENS DOORS....ask, seek, knock




MY QUEST

To ask, to seek and to knock at the door to find the answer to that question Archbishop
Banach challenged us with... 
"What Grace does God want to give you this Lenten Season?"
God is so Good and knows exactly what is needed, and shows up on time with the answers!
Sharing with my friend from Maine about this challenge, Ginny said "I've got  some thing for you
that spoke to me and part of the reading from the Magnificat article may be for you."
I had decided to do something more challenging than "giving up chocolate", so to speak;
and I didn't give up chocolate but knew there was something that the Spirit was 
calling me to, just didn't know, until I read what Ginny sent...
written by Father Leonce De Grandmaison S. J.

"Mortification in this case consists in acting against our timidity by forcing ourselves
to come out of our shells, exposing ourselves to blows, and speaking as if we had some
self-confidence. We  must be ready to risk small failures; to step forward when it is fitting;
to let others know our faults (which is far better than hiding them).
Above all, the mortification of timidity is a matter of cultivating a great, courageous,
apostolic soul, so that Christ may reach his full stature within us and not be
circumscribed,as it were, in our pettiness.
The secret of success here is to think less of ourselves and more of God and of 
His mother."

I knew immediately that this was to be my walk... not only for Lent...
this would be a challenge that may take a long time...baby steps...
a few steps forward and a couple steps back. Sr. Marie Dugas always said "that's how 
we get to heaven!"
I gave my Amen!
So the walk began, a few steps forward...okay, I acknowledged that all the Graces were 
needed and God showed up for me in His abundance...
the first being a nine day "Novena of Grace" to honor St. Francis Xavier, held at St. John's
in Worcester with my friend Marie.
There was so many more occasions of Grace that were experienced during the novena
that need sharing...
more to come! 






ASKING, SEEKING, KNOCKING

"Lord Jesus, open the doors that need to be opened,
and close the doors that need to be closed!"

Archbishop Michael Banach, in his challenge to us through the 
"Call to Holiness" presentation,and as a Lenten homily,left us to
ask the question, "What Grace does God wish to give me this Lent?"
A friend, new to the actions of the Holy Spirit, asked "what is Grace?"
"Oh Brother!," I thought..."I am supposed to be prepared to give an answer
to what I believe!" and not wanting to lead her astray, all I could  answer
at the moment was,"Grace is a gift from God by the power of the Holy Spirit."
Was that enough? No!
 There was more conversation and another question! So it seemed I
needed more certainty as to what was the answer to her query. I said,
 "The Catechism of the Catholic Church will have the best answer and I will
get back to you."
You will find a succinct explanation listed under the Life of Christ #1996 
in the Catechism, very easy to read...as follows, simply put...
GRACE...
"is a free and undeserved gift that God gives us to respond to our vocation to
eternal life, to become His adopted children!"
As "Sanctifying Grace"God shares His divine life and friendship with us in 
a "habitual gift,"a stable and natural disposition that enables us to live with 
God, and to act by His love.
He prepares us to receive these graces, which is already a  gift.
 As "Actual Grace,"God gives us help to conform to His will.
"Sacramental Graces" are special graces, gifts or (charisms from the Holy Spirit)
gifts proper to the different sacraments...meaning favor...and may be extraordinary,such as gifts 
of miracles,etc. to be at the service of charity to build up  the Church.   Romans 12:6-8

Tuesday, February 27, 2018

A CALL TO GROW...

GRACE
A CALL TO HOLINESS

Archbishop Michael Banach graciously joined us at St Joseph's Parish Church
and after the celebration of Mass we received a Lenten reflection on 
the Call to Be Holy!
His heartfelt talk focused upon five elements of approaching the Lenten season.
His approach was lighthearted and easily received.
He let us know that the child within each of us will be met by God wherever
 we happen to be in our walk with Jesus!
"Our only obligation in loving God is to grow!," he said.
To my mind, that meant constant growth all the way into eternity.
"Growth" he said "is the call to holiness!"

#1. What Does Lent Offer Us?
 A PAUSE... for a little while... to see what is...
To listen to the words and voice of the other...
to look into the eyes and faces of the others...
to see and sense, in that pause, the presence of grace...
to feel the breath of God...
to return to the Father of all Graces...

#2. What Does Lent Mean?
To be washed clean,
A chance TO REPENT...to 
To Renew our faith...
To prepare for a Joyful Resurrection!

#3. TO RETURN with your whole heart!
"But now, now---it is Yahweh who speaks---
come back to me with all your heart,
fasting, weeping, mourning"
Joel,2:12
God is full of love!
Let negligence be washed away!

#4 THE CROSS is the Universal call to holiness and Life!
He said,"Do not be afraid of the Cross he gives us,
discover that cross and carry it with Him"

#5 "KNOW that you are loved!"
"Experience the Joy by offering yourself to others!
Find someone more miserable than yourself...come out
from your own sadness and find Joy!"

SEEK and ASK, he said," What is the GRACE God wants to give me?"
Let God "open the doors to the Grace and the Joy He has in store for you!"

"This day I have given you two choices set before you,
life or death, blessings or curses;
therefore, choose Life that you and your seed may live!"
Deuteronomy 30;19,20












Friday, February 23, 2018

THE ANAWIM.. the remnant...little ones



THE REMNANT

Fr. Larry trained our group from St.Joseph's Church with the methods of how to teach children
the Catholic Catechism.  In the 1980's, some of us  were new and learning as we went along,
 others were there for the new certification that was required, as the Bishop requested.
Fr. Larry was actually explaining some of the biblical background that he thought we needed. 
This was all new to me!
Our pastor had put a book in my hands with the lessons to teach the children, and simply said,
"Just keep a week ahead of the kids, and come to me with any questions."
I needed this help!
Fr. Larry was talking about the "anawim". They were the littlest fish... the remnant people
faithful to God, living His precepts as best they could.
Something struck a cord and I was listening intently... he said that they  were the "little ones"
who could and did make a difference.
I have always loved and cherished the thoughts of God's "remnant" and the "anawim," Those
faithful few that He could count on to help Him to try and save a town like Sodom and Gamorra! 
They were begging for those souls to be saved! 
And that brought me to believe that there always exists those in every generation, those
 that please God's favor enough to appease His Justice.
I can honestly say that I have prayed that prayer of salvation at times, but I didn't consider
myself as part of the "little ones", the anawim, who could make such a difference...
until recently, when some thing very remarkable happened !

 PUT ON THE MIND OF CHRIST!
We have spoken about our "mind" being the battleground, and that the evil one would like to
  take over the mind and seed the thoughts of rebellion, pride, and control, denying God's will.
We know and understand that God's Word is alive and active when spoken in the 
Light of the Holy Spirit and His WORD  has power to guide, convert, heal and /or convict us gently.
And scripture warns and teaches that we need "to bring every thought  captive 
into the obedience of Jesus Christ."(2nd Corinthians 10 : verse 4.)
It is a big battle that needs to be faced and may take lots of perseverance in prayer
before experiencing results.

IT HAPPENED!
One day recently, while washing the dishes, a concern for one of my sons entered into my mind,
 and it brought me into a thoughtful conversation with God the Father. In my thoughts,
 I asked the Father for a blessing upon Don, my son, this day and in this moment.
In the space of a heartbeat...my phone texted me a message,"Thanks for the prayer, mom!"

HOW AWESOME IS  OUR GOD !

I continue to wonder in awe...in the face of that happening...
the sheer enormity and scope of the MAJESTY of GOD!
His loving existence throughout the Universe!!!
That He hears each voice, answers each plea...
He is here... and He is there...at the same time Present everywhere!
 GOD'S THOUGHTS, so far above our thoughts,
 GOD'S ways, so far beyond our ways.

Silencing our small and ego minds, we must attempt. A loving God
 comes to our aid when we decide to take the first step.
The battleground is the mind...
Silencing our "ego"minds we must pray to do!
How else can we become the anawim, 
the little ones, that can make a difference in this world ?
How else could we pray and ask to "put on the mind of Christ?"
And if we don't ask... how will we receive?

  



Thursday, February 15, 2018

THE MASTER WEAVER....author, Ben Franklin



THE MASTER WEAVER
                                                  Benjamin Malachi Franklin
 Our lives are but fine weavings
that God and we prepare.
Each life becomes a fabric planned
and fashioned in His care.
We may not always see just how
the weavings intertwine,
but we must trust the Master's hand
and follow His design.
For He can view the pattern
from the upper side,
While we must look from underneath
and trust in Him to guide.
Sometimes a strand of sorrow
is added to His plan,
and though it's difficult for us,
we all must understand
that it's He who fills the shuttle,
It's He who knows what's best.
So we must weave in patience
and leave to Him the rest...
Not till the loom is silent
and the shuttles cease to fly
shall God unroll the canvas
and explain the reason why-
The dark threads are as needed
In the Weaver's skillful hand
and the threads of gold and silver
In the pattern He has planned.


Friday, February 9, 2018

THE MAYFLOWER HERITAGE...poem

THE MAYFLOWER HERITAGE

'Twas from a far off land I came
With roots of pride, fear and shame.
All those who paved the way before
Sailed far across to distant shore.

Pilgrim hearts ablaze with love
Sought their guidance from Above
Un-stifled now, began anew
To build in Spirit and renew the 
Freedoms that were once withdrawn.

They toiled and grew, lived and died
To leave a heritage of strength abide.
Yet all the while, a spirit grew and
Waited to emerge anew.

Now the time has circled 'round
What once was lost is to be found.
Our Freedom's won in ages past
to worship God may see it's last
If we give in and fail to right 
The same decrees that spurred our might.

So take the banner, once again,
Stand proud with those who had the dream!
Let not us be denied our due
To live, to love and worship True!


Jean Hopkins Mahan
3-20-04

ANCESTRY ROOTS ...continued: A Path of Light!

WHAT A REVELATION !

Just recently,a  link had been discovered that connected
the members of our family tree to  the year 1642, and beyond.
 What a revelation !
There they were..family names... dates ...movements from state to state...
 their gifts...sacrifices...resourcefulness...perseverance...service to
humanity...strength of spirit!  
It all opened up before us and was a little overwhelming to see!

Something else deeper,something that cannot be seen, began speaking to me
about our lineage and the lives of each person from whom we carry 
forward the same DNA makeup.
Their spirits are carried forth into each of our generations as gifts and strengths,
along with many negative weaknesses and character defects...also!

Many years earlier, in the late nineteen eighties, my "Journey" was focused
upon the healing of our family tree. This came as a result of an interest of past family members
 and a desire was stirred from a discovery of one of those family"skeletons hidden 
in the closet" that was never acknowledged or discussed in our family and had
 left many deep scars .
 Those wounds needed to be  uncovered and placed into the Light of Christ
where forgiveness and healing could happen.
There was something  their that brought anguish from deep within me.
God knew what it was. 
Something deep within the psyche. Something hidden that could not be touched
 with  or by human means.
What was it???

"COME LET US SET THINGS STRAIGHT!"


A PATH GIVEN LONG AGO

Many years ago, after Evening  Prayer, as I sat quietly alone,
words began to flood through my mind...
not my words, not my own thoughts!
"What is happening here?" I thought.
I reached for pen and paper and began to write...

THE PATH OF LIGHT
Jesus sought to walk His path of Light
through darkened tunnels of my night.
My anguished heart cried out to Love's own Face
to heal the wounds the years did trace
upon this child.
 Left to seek her own pursuits, she stumbled, fell
to rise again and find she had a destiny.

Can it be true that Love and Light
would lead onward toward the Night
so dark, so deep, so filled with fright?

Yes, it is true that Light pervades the
deepest pool where unknown forces seek to rule.
Our heritage of Adam's root gives way to Word
that cuts the ties of sin and death...
of fear and lies and shame.
The Word of God does  enter in
to places no one else has been!

Creation once more takes It's part
in patient stillness from the heart.
It was all so new, I dare to say "the Lord has been there
faithfully,since first I sought Him in my prayer."

Then, came a time when I knew the Light would
shine all through those darkened ways to make me new!
It is another step with Him, who opens to Eternity...
And I my Lord did see with eyes of faith given me...
His hands,His feet were nailed and torn
for me to rise on Easter morn!
Amen










Wednesday, February 7, 2018

ROOTS OF ANCESTRY...each one called...

EACH ONE CALLED FORTH

Both you and I, each one, are heirs of the Kingdom
and heirs of the spiritual gifts of Jesus Christ.

 Yesterday , my daughter Karen called, all happy and
excited about a new discovery; a find, a link forward to our 
ancestral family tree roots, dating  into the 1600's.
In my childhood days, time spent with my Nana Hopkins, my father's mother,
there were stories and reminders that our origins here in America began
from that ship that brought the English from England over the ocean in the Mayflower. 
The stories included a relative, a prominent man, who helped the Pilgrims settle and 
befriended the Indians there...and we might even have Indian blood in our genes!
As a child, wow, that sounded so awesome, but were they just telling a story, or
was it true?
Well, the story goes that a Mr. Munsey, also a descendant of the family, 
who owned a printing company, published a copy of our, so called, history.
The family supposedly had, and  owned that one copy!
These stories stayed with me and were passed on to our children and grandchildren.
One day, our grandson Ryan and later, our grandson Jesse, were asked by their teachers
to interview a grandparent. They each had a list of prepared questions to ask 
 that brought out memories of those childhood stories once again.
That may have been what prompted me to go into research of the past generations history
 and  enter a phase of the  generational Healing of our Family Tree.

As we sat at the kitchen table together, in front of Karen's  opened computer,
all the Hopkins men and our past families became real!
Family from families past.Unwoven treasures of our inheritance!
She had discovered the "link"that connected us to 1642 and beyond!
What a Revelation...in more ways than one!
There was something even deeper going on  that was not being grasped 
at the moment!

A MESSAGE...in the stillness

IN THE STILL OF THE NIGHT

"Have no fear...have no fear! No fear.
Fear separates us, one from the other
Fear is useless...what is needed is trust!
You are mine..never to let go!
Come to me in all instances of unrest
I will soothe your troubled heart, and
calm the voices in the mind.
Fear is not of my doing.The evil one seeks to kill
and the human side seeks to run away from Me.
I see your struggles;
do not fear.
Just come and rest in Me.
I love you, my little one."

ARE YOU SEEKING FOR MEANING?...

  COME HOME

 In the book of Kings,today's reading, a verse popped out at me!
The story is of King Solomon and his renowned wisdom, which reached far
and wide to the Queen of Sheba. 
"She came to test him with difficult questions," scripture says. "She had to see with
 her own eyes,the Wisdom in all his ways."
The palace he built, the food at the table, the organization of his staff and
 the joy and happiness of all his people amazed her.
She could not believe until she saw it with her own eyes.
Scripture states,  "She opened her mind freely to him."
"For all her questions, there was none too obscure for the King to answer."

 "FOR ALL HER QUESTIONS...
THERE WAS NONE TOO OBSCURE FOR THE KING TO ANSWER"

Are you seeking for meaning to life's questions?
Who am I?  Why am I here now?
What is my purpose in this life?
How could I hear God's Voice?

In God's realm, there is nothing God cannot explain,
if He chooses.
Don't block your blessings ...let Love guide you.
The Church is God's plan for the world !
We are the Church !
We are part of the Body of Christ!
We, you, are part of God's plan...
A body without a "head" is dead!
The Church is the Body of Jesus Christ..
Jesus is the Head...
We cannot have a Church without the Head...
In that Body of Christ ,the Church, is His Presence...
WHERE THERE IS COMMUNITY,
THERE IS PRESENCE...
"Wherever there are two or three together I AM Present"...
"I WILL NEVER DECEIVE YOU, OR LEAVE YOU ORPHANS, ALONE"

Come home...bring all your questions and doubts.
Come and see for yourself...
You are loved!
Be blessed too!



Monday, January 15, 2018

HOLY CHILDHOOD



HOLY CHILDHOOD

I must become a child again
to let God's freedom reign,
Where there's no fear nor
selfishness...
no sin again to stain.

I must become a child again
to glide along with Thee...
In Joy of heart the 
Spirit is set free!

No guilt, no shame to weigh me down,
My heart in Your's as One...
I must become a child again...
A new Life is begun!