F E A R has two meanings

F  E  A  R

F  E  A  R has two meanings...

Forget   Erase  And   Run!

Face  Engage   And   Rise!

"LISTEN TO ME,... LISTEN!"

WHERE IS THE LOGIC?

LOGIC the science or art of reasoning.

These  next words came and were heard  so clearly...as if a parent sternly speaking to a child

"LISTEN TO ME!"

"LISTEN!"

"Let My Words hang in the air-

You will hear in the Silence, what is said on the roof-tops!

What was hidden, will be revealed.

It will all be revealed. Nothing can be hidden from My eyes!

Nothing!

What is done in the dark, will be seen in the Light".

"My Word will never pass away!"

The Mother is "the Church."

The Church has been defiled from within

My Church, my mother torn apart, tattered...

battered from within- stained, profaned from within-

where, how- who will clean the wounds?

I seek your acts of penance for the reconciliation of 

the Body of Christ, who suffers like a mother at a lost child !

Rachael- once again cries for Her children...

The Body of Christ is broken!

,

WE WILL MEET AGAIN, MY BROTHER,....Richards' Quest

RICHARD'S QUEST

Richard, my brother, left us...only to meet us, once again,
in another realm, at another time!

Here, we seem to call that "leaving,"  a death...but there is no death!

It's only a dying.

For God is a God of the living!

And the living exist in His Eternal Presence.

I do grieve, for we only had met less than a year ago.

It was too short a time for me!

Yet, there is a Divine Plan that I do not know or understand about this story,

except to say that we will be together again in that  Eternal

realm. So I am blessed for the "miracle" that brought us together for 

one year and three visits.

His "quest," was to know his father's name...and it was met here.

He also had a picture of his father, met his sister and found his own family!
My "quest" was to meet my brother and to  be at peace knowing
 that he was in the right place with God. 

June 19, 2018 Richard, my brother, died from cancer within his bones and lungs ,

received from the chemical "Agent Orange", that was used by the U.S. Government while he was 

in Vietnam as a soldier in the Marine Corps.

 Since my childhood days, I was told that I had a brother ten years younger than myself.
 I was shown a picture of a little boy about 3 or 4 years old.

I cannot go into all the details, only to say that my own father had left our family and our home.

He had fathered a son and I was shown the picture.

 Nothing was ever mentioned again, as secrets were kept 

within the "family walls".

Time has a way of healing those secrets!

Throughout my life of schooling, nurses training, marriage and childbearing,

I would have a lingering memory occasionally..."I have a brother somewhere,

...I wonder if he is all right, if he needs help, if he's healthy"?

As years went by, the thought became an audible notification.

When my husbands last days were coming closer, the thoughts and longings

persisted more often.

I had been praying for the generational healing of our family tree and all it's members,praying
 along with a book written by Fr. Hempsh, 'Healing the Family Tree".

 My daughters heard my need and brought it to light, saying "Mom, we've

heard you, how can we help?"

For two years we searched the "paper trail" and ended up closer to nowhere.

We watched the T.V. shows of families being re-united and decided 

that was not the way for us to go.

So we followed the trail to Ancestry.com and sent for the DNA testing kit and waited.

It was only a few months  when I received a notice of an 98% chance of a cousin relative.

I knew it was my brother!
His name was Richard Gabaree. An unfamiliar name.

Too emotionally touched, I asked my daughter to answer the request.

The E-mails went back and forth,... he wasn't sure that he wanted to proceed.

He had given up 20 years ago looking for his father's name,

but every so often would look in on his ancestry page.

Here we were in August  and his last connection was in May.

He said that his birth mother had written him before she died in 1995

and had written his father's name, but he wasn't caring then, and put it aside.

 He thought he might still have the letter.

If the name on the letter matched the name  we would send, then

we could plan to meet together.
Meanwhile, he sent a picture! There was a strong family resemblance!
I knew he was my brother.

We met here at my home.
The tension of my emotions were so strong!
So many questions flowing through my mind!
 So much was unknown...would he welcome us as family?
Would he be angry or accepting of us?


Richard brought his daughter Kendra along. She was his constant caregiver.
We were comfortable right away after the initial greeting.
Somehow, they felt like family right away, and he love was genuine.
Richard told us stories of his adoption into a large family, the war, his wounds  in the battles,
the resulting cancer in his bones and lungs, the insults he endured on coming home to the U. S.,
 he showed pictures of the families he had raised...
he never once showed any anger of his past difficulties of life.
He recounted that in the Vietnam  war he had saved the life of a brother Marine.
He shared his difficulty and feelings with us when he was told that he was adopted.
He was so open and honest with us and shared how he felt seeing his father's pictures,
looking for a similarity  of features to himself.
The time together seemed to go by so fast; we all agreed to meet another time
and to stay in touch with each other.
We had two more visits and it seemed obvious that his health
was deteriorating quickly.
The doctors would give him 3 months before the lining of his lungs would
 not expand enough to take in the oxygen needed for him to survive.
We had a short time of conversing via e mail;
then, silence for a month.
No one was answering the emails or phone calls to Richard.
We didn't have a way of contacting the family.
I knew what the family was attending to at that time.

The Funeral Mass was celebrated at Our Lady of Grace Catholic church
with a Military escort to the cemetery for burial.

 Three weeks later we came together with Kendra again, and met Richard's wife, Sandra.
We shared many tender moments together that day... we laughed and we cried, as Sandra told us stories
and shared her memories .
We also shared our faith stories about God's infinite goodness in our lives...
and those times of little miracles that happened.
We all became closer, more loving and thankful for our family togetherness!

WHY BEGIN YOUR DAY with broken pieces ? Grace is better !

DON'T START YOUR DAY
WITH YESTERDAYS BROKEN PIECES

"Don't start your day with broken pieces of yesterday!
Every day is a fresh start.
Each day a new beginning.
Every day we wake up
is the first day of our new life."

This truth came across from Facebook and spoke clearly about
leaving my baggage of the day behind  me at day's end, so as
not to carry anything forward.

A few years now, on and off, I have been praying the 5 steps of the St. Ignatius

of Loyola, "Spiritual Daily Examen."..G...R...A...C...E.
 Taking only 10-15 minutes at the most, it is usually done at the end of each day.
There are 5 steps...
Asking the Holy Spirit to teach me to pray, I begin...

COME, HOLY SPIRIT

O Holy Spirit,soul of my soul, I adore you.

Enlighten, guide, strengthen and console me.

Tell me what to do and command me to do it. 

I promise to be faithful to all you permit to happen to me.

Show me only what is your will. 

Amen

 Holy Spirit guide me into the Quiet Space of God.

Choose a Sacred word to keep your focus...
returning to the sacred word, gently, when thoughts enter in.
 This place of peace will increase
as you keep this daily time with Jesus

G   R   A   C   E
The daily Examin,
A Conversation with God.

GRATITUDE:  for the the day's gifts and blessings...recall in thanksgiving the blessings of the day,
you're God moments, praising GOD.

                       REQUEST:   ask for  God's gift of  Understanding upon the day's actions as He would
have you see it.    Make this a "prayer- conversation" with God the Father...

ACKNOWLEDGE :   your actions throughout the day; 

telling JESUS details of some things that occurred,
how you felt,what you were thinking...what you may or could have done differently;
have a conversation with Him.

CHART:  a course of daily change for the better; or stay the course you are on.
Here, make an act of contrition and a resolution for change, if needed.

ENTREAT:  God for energy and enthusiasm for tomorrow and
ask for the  help of His Grace to carry out any changes.

GRACE: will be given as we continue each day, to be able to see any

patterns that may need to be corrected.
The daily examen will eventually lead to living a life of Transformation  with Jesus Christ.

This is a good guide toward preparation for the monthly Sacrament of Reconciliation,also.

It is up to God to give the Grace of enlightenment and a true resolve to change.

We cannot  do this alone.

We need Jesus' help.

A good guide pamphlet that helps me enter into this place of prayer
can be found on the St. Joseph's welcome table in our Church entry.
Cardinal Mercier's
SECRET TO SANCTITY
AND HAPPINESS

St. Ignatius Examination with Fr. Timothy Gallagher OVM
can be found on YOUTUBE
www.discerninghearts.com

"TO SAVE WHAT WAS LOST"...A REFLECTION by FATHER BEDE JARRETT, O.P.

I am always amazed at God's timing and

 how He puts the answers to unasked questions into view.

Here is what was found (but not lost,) until the exact moment it was needed!

Another part of the picture presents itself for future teaching.

This following reflection seemed to speak to me of a great change that will come 

according to what the next Life Lesson may be.!

Fr. Jarrett(+ 1934) was a Dominican priest from England known

 for his preaching,lectures and his many books

 on theology and spirituality.

A REFLECTION:

TO SAVE WHAT WAS LOST

                 Father Bede Jarrett, O.P.

It is perfectly obvious that if I am so blessed by the gifts of the Spirit, that I find my reason, will, and emotions made increasedly perceptive of divine currents previously lost to me, I can hardly help acting in a new way.

I now discover the view about me, and, consequently, my manner of life must in some ways be different from before. 

The vision has come; it cannot simply open my eyes to new things in life without

thereby altering that very life itself. 

Not only shall I find that what seemed to me before to be evil now appears to me to be a blessing;

but on that very account, what before I tried to avoid, or, having got,tried to be rid of, I shall

now accept, perhaps even seek. Similarly, whereas then I was weak, now I am strong;

 and increase of strength means new activities,  new energy put into the old work and

 finding its way into works altogether new.

My emotions, finally, which imperiled and dominated my life, slip now into a subordinate position and, 

while thereby as actively employed as before, are held under discipline.

It is clear, therefore, that the gifts will not leave me where I was before,

but will influence my actions as well as alter my vision. I find, then,

 that these new habits will develop into new activities. But this means also that I have

 a new idea as to the means of achieving the full happiness of life. 

Once upon a time I thought happiness meant comfort; now I see that it means something quite different.

 My view of happiness has changed. I am therefore obliged to change also my idea 

as to the means and conditions whereby, and in which, happiness can be found.

WHAT A DIFFERENCE A DAY MAKES ! ! !

THE JOURNEY

Many years ago, never would I have imagined that I would be sitting at a computer...
or writing about the stretch of road that led me here.
The cover of  my little book, inspired and actually written and gifted
by God, in the Person of the Holy Spirit, is titled "The Journey".
This Gift given, was both poetic and prophetic.

In the midst of a very busy family life, after a time of listening prayer,
words began to flood through my mind without stopping...as if a dam had burst!
They were not my thoughts and came so fast that I thought,
" maybe I should write this down!"
As an unexpected  Summer rain shower in the late afternoon, they came. And so it was!
After a few years, there were pools of paper pieces collecting in various
 areas of the desk and sitting room.

My friend and helper, Ben Gordon, offered me many of his Saturdays engineering
page by page,  helping to create the book by his skills on the computer.
The written pages are only bits and pieces,rising from the deep recesses,
opening  them into the Light of day.
The real story began to emerge with the idea of putting these thoughts all together
as a legacy for my family.As it was taking form, it named as
the Woman At The Well.
 I had met Jesus years before, and seen Him active in the persons of an Al-Anon group.
Jesus then, became active and alive to me through the power of the Holy Spirit.



WHAT A DIFFERENCE A DAY MAKES
 
I am trying to live according to what the moment gives...
accepting the invitation that the moment offers...
trusting that Jesus will carry me wherever He decides.
That means, making very few plans in order to let the Spirit lead, and
trying to say "Yes" to each moment as it shows itself  and
staying open.
That's not an easy task for me, as I want to be in control
and make my own decisions.

So, I saw that Fr. Donato was giving us an opportunity for a retreat day on a Saturday.
A one day retreat to soak up all that was being offered, sounded perfect to me!
The presentations were so inviting...and I was so ready to learn from such
knowledgeable priests!
"Better enroll quickly, the space will fill up in no time!"...thought I!
 So I did!... and I looked forward to going on that day.

THEN....
my friend Anne called and INVITED me  to a gathering of
Women of Faith, spiritually guided by the Sisters of Saint Anne.
They were presenting "A walk with Mary" as a Saturday retreat!
Yes! That same Saturday as Fr's retreat day!

 "Well my resolve to, "live in the moment and go where I am invited"
hadn't lasted or taken root for very long, had it?"
Now I knew where
God was calling me!
An invitation,.. at the last moment,..   and not of my doing 
or my plan,...and 
I felt drawn to be there when it was offered to me!
I gave my "yes!"


THE MAGNIFICAT  TODAY

My soul glorifies the Lord !

My spirit rejoices in God my Saviour!

For God has blessed me lavishly and makes me ready to respond.

God shatters my little world and lets me be poor.

God takes from me all my plans and gives me more

than I can hope or ask.

God gives me opportunities;

the ability to become free;

to burst through my boundaries.

God gives me strength to be daring,

to build on God alone, for God

is the ever greater One in my life.

God has made known to me this: it is in my being servant that it becomes

possible for God's kingdom to break through here and now.

Translated from German by Olga Vamke, IBVM


YES!...BUT WHAT WAS HE CALLING ME TO...

REFLECTION QUESTIONS: what is GOD trying to announce to me, to you?

What Was GOD trying to ANNOUNCE to me?

NO WIND AT THE WINDOW

                       John Bell

No wind at the window, no knock at the door

No light from the lamp stand, no foot on the floor

No dream born of tiredness, no ghost raised by fear

Just an angel and a woman and a voice in her ear

Oh, Mary Oh, Mary don"t hide from my face

Be glad that you're favored and filled with God's grace

The time for redeeming the world has begun

And you are requested to mother God's son

The child must be born that the Kingdom might come

Salvation for many, destruction for some

Both end and beginning, both message and sign

Both victor and victim, both yours and divine

No payment was promised, no promises made

No wedding was dated, no blue print displayed

Yet Mary, consenting to what none could guess

Replied with conviction,"tell God I say yes."
__________________________________________________

What was being asked of me?
There was so much beauty in the words of the call...
so many thoughts and feelings surrounding them...
too much to understand ...
Then Sister said we could take a break! There was coffee and fruit and food
on the welcoming table...
but I was in need of "silence" and
listening into that silence
  for the still ,small Voice to make
sense and put the pieces of the
calling together.Within my spirit I heard the
invitation to "Go to the chapel"
YES! I was in the right place...
As I began to pray...
"O' my GOD, I am heartily sorry- for all my offenses,
thank You for Love and your Mercy-"

the Words were coming and heard... gently..
"All is well! And all is well and all will be well!"
"In all these things, get Understanding!"
"You are getting Understanding!"
Let ME love you!
Be still!-
Stop running-
There is nothing you need to do-or
can do!
Let Me Love you!"
______________
"Forget the others-
Just be loved-
absorb the love
don't push others away
let Me love you through them- their love for
 you comes through Me alone
or they, the other, would not
even approach you!
So be not afraid-
It is I,your Savior,
who has every moment
measured toward you!
Receive--Me
in that communion!"

______________________

"I leave this altar in peace
May I return in peace...
I leave an altar of suffering
for a journey of Transformation...
A stone remains;
in it's place
a heart of flesh and compassion
 moves onward"
                  Anonymous
_________________________________________


THE STORY IN LUKE'S GOSPEL

A message is given to the woman.
Something stirs deep within her being...a truth she has always known
but neither heard nor expressed...
Something happens which is utterly new but very familiar.
She comes to a place where she has always wanted to be.

What happens to this virgin of Nazareth in an announcement
     is not a singular event, a once-and-only.
It is an announcement for now and forever.
God is with us.
Women and men are called to"give birth,
called to be "Mothers of God"

                                           Meister   Eckhart